Language Library
Self-permission isn’t a trend. It’s a vocabulary.
And the more clearly we name it, the more powerfully we can live it.
Every phrase here exists to give women clearer words for what they've been feeling. We're building the language of self permission. Read it. Use it. Share it.
The phrases you’ll find here weren’t created to sound clever.
They were created because women needed better words for what they were feeling.
We name the emotional weight most people step over.
We define the internal shifts that happen before anything else can.
And we build language that helps women live, teach, and choose from a place of grounded clarity.
This is where the SelfPermission framework lives, in words you can use, share, and stand on.
It Began with a moment...
Autopilot
Definition (formal):
Autopilot (n.): an automatic agreement or compliance response, often given before full emotional or cognitive processing occurs.
Self Permission Definition:
The Autopilot is a reflexive response, usually driven by guilt, conditioning, or performance, that bypasses choice. It’s how many women have learned to stay safe, stay liked, or stay invisible.
When to Use It:
A client agrees to something, then immediately feels resentment. Exploring why boundaries fall apart after being set.
Naming early, unconscious overcommitment
Related Terms: Pause. Say It Back, The Weight of Yes, Emotional Authority
Pause. Say It Back
Definition (formal):
Pause. Say It Back (v.): a reflective communication method used to interrupt automatic response patterns by pausing and restating the request or expectation before responding.
Self Permission Definition:
Pause. Say It Back is a method for reclaiming space in moments that usually run on autopilot. It creates a brief but powerful gap between request and reply, where self permission can enter.
When to Use It:
When offering clients a simple, repeatable decision tool. When helping someone break the habit of automatic yes. When modeling emotional clarity in real time.
Related Terms: Autopilot, Emotional Authority, Self Permission
Self Permisson
Definition (formal):
Self permission (n.): the act of granting oneself internal authorization to think, feel, act, or choose without external validation.
Self Permission Definition:
Self permission is the moment a woman chooses herself without guilt, without apology, and without waiting for someone else to approve it. It is the internal clarity that says: I can. I may. I will.
When to Use It:
When describing the foundation beneath emotional shifts. When naming what precedes confidence, boundary-setting, or personal change. When inviting a client or reader back into their own voice.
Related Terms: Pause. Say It Back, Emotional Authority, Autopilot
Weight of Yes
Definition (formal):
The weight of yes (n.): the accumulated emotional, mental, and physical strain caused by habitual agreement, especially when in conflict with one’s true needs.
Self Permission Definition:
The weight of yes is the invisible burden women carry when they’ve been saying yes out of duty, pressure, or performance for too long. It is the heaviness that builds when choice is replaced by obligation.
When to Use It:
When naming burnout that doesn’t come from overwork, but from over, agreeing. When exploring the emotional labor behind people-pleasing or care roles
When introducing the cost of automatic compliance.
Related Terms: Pause. Say It Back, Emotional Authority, Autopilot
The Selfish Shift
Definition (formal):
Selfish Shift (n.): the intentional re-centering of one's energy, attention, or decision-making around personal truth, rather than external approval or duty.
Self Permission Definition:
The Selfish Shift is what happens when you stop prioritizing peacekeeping over personal clarity. It’s the unapologetic pivot into what you actually need, without shame.
When to Use It:
Reframing guilt around saying no. Naming the tension between visibility and personal need. Helping clients normalize choosing themselves first.
Related Terms: Permission Slips, Yes-Tired, Emotional Authority
Yes-Tired
Definition (formal):
Yes-Tired (adj.): a specific type of burnout caused by chronic over-agreement, people-pleasing, and emotional labor.
Self Permission Definition:
Yes-Tired is the exhaustion that doesn’t come from what you do, but from everything you’ve agreed to that you didn’t want. It’s the fatigue of being available, agreeable, and expected.
When to Use It:
A client is overwhelmed but can’t point to “why”. Addressing invisible labor or over-functioning. Introducing permission as the real solution, not productivity.
Related Terms: Permission Slips, Yes-Tired, Emotional Authority
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The Take Back Collection
Condensed wisdom for women ready to stop overcommitting and over-apologizing.
The Take Back Collection gives you five things you've been searching for, probably without even knowing it.
- Those moments when you're drowning in everyone else's needs? There's a book for that.
- That voice in your head saying "not enough, never enough"? We see it, and we’ve named it.
- The pressure to have it all figured out by now? Yeah. We noticed that one too.
This collection is here as your path to recognition.
It's permission to stop, breathe, and remember who you are beneath all those expectations.
